One thing I often do when doubting my purpose is asking myself who am I doing this for? I don’t know if I either let myself down or others. All I know is that I am unhappy. I hope this is a phase.
So far these last months have been one of the greatest time periods of my life, whilst being one of the worst. I feel like I’ve had fist fights with my weaknesses and they have all been put to the test. Through it all, I feel happy, so I am guessing it’s safe to say I passed. However, this is not the end, as many more are waiting for me. A part of me feels intimidated by struggles but I feel stronger than ever before.
One thing Ive learnt throughout my journey is that we go through struggles to save someone else’s life. You may ask yourself or God ”why me?”, but why not you? Why not live that struggle because you know that in a few years you will impact on someone else’s life.
I am feeling drunk, happy from the core of my heart. My friends are shots, and I take them every once in a while because they make me happy, their spirits keep me alive. So I take a shot of them to keep me going through the day.
I’ve never really known what it’s like to feel physical pain so I speak on the basis of spiritual and emotional pain.
As I read your words, my heart breaks, a world comes crumbling down on my whole body and I tremble to pieces because of the pain I am going through. You are watching this happen, you have given up. You have given up on me and a part of me is sorry for not trying hard enough but a part of me is sour. Bitter because you have given up on me, I didn’t think you would.
I can’t sleep now, I am tired but I can’t sleep, until these pieces of mine come together again.
”The greatest testimony in life is not the words that you say, rather the way you live your life”
I Love you and appreciate you Laurence
I’ve never experienced this before, ever. So I can’t quite find the words to express how I am feeling but somehow I have found myself typing away on my blog which is ironic. It is difficult to cry on your own, trusting that a spirit is holding onto you because you cannot physically feel it.
I don’t know if you’ll ever get to read this but if you do find yourself stumbling upon it, just know I’m grateful for you. Without knowing, You’ve been there when I needed you, and as I enter my final months of being at uni, I’ve found myself really appreciating those I may rarely ever see as often as I do now.
Thank you for the long paragraphs when I’ve been down, they will be cherished. Thank you for great rotas (lmao). You are a blessing to those around you and I happened to be lucky enough to be blessed with you.
Everything about being here was beautiful.